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Vacationing with Your Partner and Family

Vacationing with Your Partner and Family

“Interesting fact: The term ‘never forget’ was first muttered by parents leaving Disney.”

Jim Gaffigan

Take a Vacation on Your Terms, Pops

First of all, your contract with your employer includes vacation days. If it doesn’t, get out now. You’re not contractually bound to take vacation, but you really, REALLY should go on vacation. Seriously, take a vacation. You‘ll decrease stress, strengthen bonds with your family, improve productivity when you get back to the grind, and you could even save your own life.

There are many vacation options. We like these four: 

  1. Bare bones 
  2. All inclusive
  3. You and your partner only
  4. Take a kid, maybe two

But First, We Budget

You shouldn’t attempt to micromanage every snack, toy or adult beverage while enjoying vacation. However, you need to cover the big ticket items, and expect for the unexpected expenditures with some stashed spending money.

Nail the big items:

  • Flights: Experts advise booking three weeks ahead of time. Also, the people at airlines work during the week just like you and they’re adjusting prices all week long. So, keep tabs through the week using alerts like Google Flights. Best days to fly for your budget? Tuesday or Wednesday. 
  • Road tripping: Plan out your gas stops using apps like GasBuddy or Gas Guru, which allow you to find the best priced stations before hitting empty. Turn on the gas rewards on any of your credit cars and use them throughout the trip. The GasBuddy app also offers a credit card and you can earn points for free gas. This is a reason it’s more beneficial than Google Maps (which also shows you stations and prices). 
  • Hotels: Unlike flights, you will likely score the best price for your hotel room just before or on the day of your stay. Use sites and apps like HotelTonight or Hotels.com to find the best hotel deals. It’s important to scout these out in advance and align them with your arrival date or along your road trip route. Also, read the reviews. Unlike flights or gas stations, you have some options and you want to avoid poorly run hotels that won’t give you beneficial accommodations, like adjoining rooms or a gym and pool.

Budget for the fun stuff 

  • Restaurants: Prioritize dining with your family. It could be just one great experience per day, say lunch or dinner, while simplifying others, like picking up bagels for breakfast. And explore that shit! Go find cool spots the locals recommend. You didn’t go on vacation to eat at Chili’s (did you?)
  • Rental, Parking and Local Travel: Plan for Uber, Lyft and taxi rides if your kids don’t need car seats. If they do, plan for (way cheaper, but more demanding) public transportation. Or you can rent a car and plan your budget around the cost of your rental, parking, and gas (they still make you bring it back with a quarter or half tank of gas).
  • Places and Things of Interest: Before you leave, research the cost of all the places you’re going. Could be Disney or Yellowstone national park, esteemed wineries or MLK’s tomb. Some require the cost of admission, some are free, some take donations, which you should make. 
  • Keepsakes and gifts: You’re going to want tangible objects to relive your memories. Your partner may want more. Your kids will almost certainly want more fun things. And, if you have someone watching your kids, pets, house, etc., bring them back a gift.

Account for things to pop up

  • Emergencies: Auto repair or urgent care are the most likely. I remember when we got a flat tire in the middle of the night on a family road trip and a kind samaritan took us to a nearby gas station to get some help. Bump up your roadside assistance through your insurance to avoid this.
  • Clothes: You’ll find cool gear out there. You may also forget something at home and need to grab something at a nearby store. Stow some money just in case.
  • Unplanned Attractions: You think you got it all planned out, and then you see a sign for the world’s largest frying pan or largest ball of paint. What are you going to do? Not go check it out? 

You can’t manage it all, much less micromanage your trip. But, if you do the hard planning now, then you can enjoy the easy times on vacation. 

Where to start? Check out our resources page for budget templates to kick things off.


Tent at sunset

The Bare Bones Vacation: More memories, More work

With a simple bare bones vacation, you can focus on the memories and experiences. You have all kinds of opportunities to save and still spoil your fam. Keep these factors in mind:

  • Hitting the road is a logical and splendid way to travel. Pack up the car and go, Dad, go.
  • Flexibility is a key component for a successful bare bones vacation. For example, book a hotel mid-week to save money and avoid crowds.  
  • Make a meal. Pull over at an overlook and get all of your accouterments out the cooler to make sandwiches. Add some flair and get stuff from local spots, like pimento cheese in Georgia, tomatoes in New Jersey, or muffuletta in Louisiana.

Want to see the natural world but can only afford what America’s got to offer? Check out these national parks:

Can’t afford America? Keep it local with the staycation.

  • Stay within your city or state’s border
  • Go somewhere you’ve always wanted to check out and spend a night or two. 
    • If you’re in the north, you’re likely near another fun city; leave Philly and check out Pittsburgh,
    • Or if you live in Cleveland, go spend a night in Cincinnati or Columbus,
    • Or if you’re in the Northwest, get lost in the forests on a hike, bike, or dip into the waterfalls and rivers,
    • And if you live out west, your national park options are bountiful.

Water-bound but can’t make it to the ocean? Check out these awesome lakes instead:


Bahamas vacation island and hotel

The Inclusive Vacation: More goodies, More money

At all inclusive resorts, you’ll enjoy less stress and more quality family time. It will cost a heck of a lot more than going bare bones, because you’re getting all the benefits. Beyond the endless eating and boozing, you’ll give your kids unlimited activities, short summer friendships, and memories for life. 

A lot of the best all inclusive resorts are international, so bring a passport! This includes going to Mexico, the Dominican Republic, Jamaica, and the Bahamas (to name a few).

Spend time researching, reading the reviews, and going into the fine print. You need to know all the stuff you’re getting and what’s not included, too.

Stuff you get:

  • Food and beverages – Look for resorts that cover the tab on top shelf brands
  • Guest services – 24 hour room service, yes please
  • Daily activities – You can find some that don’t charge for premium experiences, like golf and spa treatments. For the most part, however, you’re only getting free snorkeling gear, small sailboats and “nonmotorized” water sports for the most part
  • Pools – Who doesn’t love the infinity pool? The good ones also have water parks and lazy rivers

Quick tip: BYOC Bring your own cup – and reduce the number of trips to the bar for adult beverages, soda, water, basically anything.

So, the all-inclusive, 800 lb gorilla: Disney World. 

Spring for the fastpass aka Genie+. Know when your kid is about to break down. Pack the treats. But, still budget for the Mickey or Minie ears and happy snacks. I treat it like Las Vegas: I’m good for three days, tops.

How much does it cost to do Disney World the right way?

  • Genie+ = $16 per person per day
  • Dining and Snacks = $200-250 per day depending on your quick service or table service experience. Around $16 per person for snacks or beverages.
  • Toys and crap = You have to get the ears that are avg. $40 each. Plush toys run you between $30 – $70.
  • Hotel stay and play = At least $200 per night and up to $2,000 to stay at a Disney resort or hotel. You do you, Dad. Let’s say the average is $500 for a good hotel.

Total for a four-person family staying for three days: $3,484 (does not include flights)

Cruises: Don’t.

Cruises are overpriced, semi-buoyant, sewage-spewing, death vehicles that trap you into crap activities, horrible food, even worse drinks and force you to hang out with a mixed bag of strangers, any of whom could end up in the brig.

Couple on mountain top

The You and Your Partner Only Vacation: Quality Adult Time

Leave the kids, take your partner. Not just for your anniversary, but just because. 

  • Drop your kids off at your parents if your parents are still around. 
  • If not, we feel you and the sadness that lingers. We suggest finding a sibling, great friend, or even a trusted teacher who is down to babysit for a minimum of two nights. 
  • Let your kids know how important this is for you and your partner
  • Avoid kid stuff and kid convos unless the latter brings you laughs and propels your personal relationship with your partner forward. I remember a two day trip with my wife when we laughed all night about a cuss word our kid was repeating non-stop and how happy we were to not deal with it. Sorry, grandma, but it was a great trip! 
  • Hit the bucket list: from Paris to Napa, from a ski trip to seeing Silk Sonic play Vegas
  • Go big: Like first class tickets. Turn left getting on the plane to start and end the trip in a perfect direction. 

Dad and kid on shoulders

The Take a Kid, Maybe Two Vacation: Unique Memories for a Lifetime

Leave your partner and take your kids. Bond with them. Let your partner chill and do their own thing.

  • Destination vacations: Think Cooperstown or a national park or an event like the World Series when your favorite team is playing. I took my kiddo to the regional PAC12 tourney in Vegas.
  • Camping: Hike the Appalachian trail. My father and sister did this together every summer. My mom and I stayed home and watched movies. Everyone was happy then.
  • Drive somewhere. Don’t waste time, money and years off your life trying to handle multiple kids in air travel. But, don’t get crazy, Clark Griswold. Keep it fairly close to home to avoid the even crazier times on the road with your kids.

No Matter What You Do, Follow These 7 Steps

  1. Plan like hell for everything before you go. This is becoming the unofficial mantra of Finance For Fathers. 
  2. Avoid lofty Griswold expectations. 
  3. Don’t bring your work with you. If you can’t go on vacay without leaving your laptop or joining zoom calls, then postpone until a time when you can. Your partner will appreciate it and you’ll maximize your budget by actually doing the fun things you paid for. 
  4. Treat yourself. Work it into the budget in advance.
  5. Tip well. It may be all inclusive, but you need to tip the staff well. Bring extra, physical bills in whatever currency they take. 
  6. Expand your photo storage and phone’s memory. It can be as little as $0.99 to expand your iCloud storage to 50GB. That’s like 16,000 photos if you’re just using iCloud for pics of your kiddos and partner, and some selfies.
  7. Use the benefits that come with your credit card. These cards have the best benefits for travel:
  • Chase Sapphire Preferred: 5x rewards on travel, 3x on dining, 2x on all other travel purchases. Recommended credit score: 670-850 (Excellent/Good)
  • Capital One VentureOne: 5x miles on hotels and rental cars, 1.25x rewards on every purchase, no annual fee. Recommended credit score: 670-850 (Excellent/Good)
  • Delta SkyMiles Platinum Amex: 3x miles on Delta flights and hotels, 2x on hotels, 1x on everything else. Recommended credit score: 670-850 (Excellent/Good)